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Dear Broke But in Love:

Crystal says:
Cost is not always the most important part of a gift. I will admit, jewelry from Tiffany’s is always a great gift, but not always necessary. A romantic, home-cooked meal is a nice start. I believe that if you do something unexpected, then she will be impressed. If you cannot cook, ask your mom or a friend for some cooking assistance. With a few lit candles and her favorite song playing for background music, she will know that you took the time to make this day special for her. Your most important task is to make her feel like a princess, and what girl does not like to me pampered ever now and then? You can even offer a nice back rub after dinne,r and who knows where that might lead (wink wink). Happy Valentine’s Day.

Jason says:
Screw it. Don’t buy into the most blatantly capitalistic holiday there ever was.

Do you feel it necessary to buy her "gifts" on Columbus Day, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, or Leprechaun (St. Patrick’s) Day? The greatest gift in the world is your attention, which I’m sure you give plenty of, or else you would not have taken the time to write into this column. If you do buy anything, buy a big red bow and stick it on yourself. And if you can’t even afford that, then steal it. And while you’re at it, steal yourself a big box of chocolates, and some long-stem red roses.

Why do women say they do not want a relationship, but when you do not call them every day, they get mad?
-Utterly Confused

Crystal says:
Let me begin by saying that women are crazy, and I am one of those crazy women. Most people would like to believe that they are independent, and do not need a significant other. However, when friendships start to develop into relationships, sometimes women take them more literally than men. Women tend to check in with their man to see what his plans are, whereas men check in with their boys before calling their girl. She may not necessarily want to call you her boyfriend, but she does like hanging out with you. I would suggest that the two of you talk about it. Communications is the key to a great friendship and possibly even a healthy relationship in the future.

Jason says:
I don’t know. But when you find out, fill me in, because I would really like to know. However, I do like the way you formulated your question, other than failing to acknowledge the fact that men are like that as well. Maybe you’re flattered she wants to talk to you. Maybe you are annoyed with her. Or maybe you are indifferent to the situation, but are just curious about this phenomenon. Regardless, if this female is truly mad then I don’t see why you would want to be in a relationship with her anyways. But if you really want a relationship then tell her you’ll call her when she wants if she’ll pay your phone bill. If she agrees to this, then may I point out that Sanyo has some pretty expensive boss-looking cell phones?

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