Issue date: 4/4/07 Section: Sexcapades

Mikhail Chernyavsky [Click to enlarge]

They have been know as apples, balloons, bazongas, bazookas, bazooms, bikini stuffers, bonbons, bulbs, gum drops, hoohas, jugs, knockers, melons, mambos, mangos, polygons, pumpkins, sandbags, shakers, sugarplums, and twins.

Clearly, I am talking about breasts. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Breasts: Women have them and men love them. The Girls Gone Wild videos are a perfect example of a society in love with breasts. For those who have not seen the videos, it is an array of girls showing what their mamas gave them and, sometimes, what their doctors gave them. As a society we are obsessed with breasts; more specifically, we are obsessed with their sizes. So, why the obsession?

Some may point to the media. In Coors beer commercials we see very attractive models with huge breasts, and guys getting so excited they begin to sing a song about how much they love twins. Comedy Central's The Man Show had girls jumping on trampolines just so men could see their breasts bounce. Every once in awhile, you even hear about girls who get breast implants as high school graduation gifts.

There is no doubt that breast size is very prominent in the pornographic industry and this does perpetuate the size agenda. Many porn stars get breast implants, and viewers buy into the fantasy that women should have large breasts. This causes women to think that their self esteem lies in their breast size. Ladies, you should not worry. It may not be a very well-known fact, but most porn stars are pressured into getting implants. Porn superstar Jenna Jameson has admitted in interviews that she regrets getting implants and that she was pressured into it by the industry.

Sigmund Freud believed that the breast is the equivalent substitute for the penis and that it is simply a longing to return to infancy. For the first six months of our lives, we are breast fed. Freud believed that we are psychologically drawn to the breast from birth. It is our source of sustenance, and it is perhaps because of this that men are attracted to breasts.

If breasts are a penis substitute in one's psyche, then it would be only natural that men are so interested in size. For some men, confidence lies in how well-endowed they are. It should be no surprise that some men hold women to the same standard.

Carmen Electra told World Entertainment News Network: "I had nice breasts to begin with. They weren't the biggest boobs, (but) I just think it was really trendy (to have implants) at a certain time and I decided to do it. There are moments when I think it´s kind of silly and I wish I would've just stayed natural."

This is where the true culprit rests: trends. As a society, we must realize that most trends go as quickly as they come. From the Furby phenomenon to leisure suits, countless trends have come and gone, changing over time. I always hear parents talking about how ridiculous they looked in what they wore back in the 1970s and 80s. An article of clothing is far easier to change than a cup size.

If a woman's chest size is as big as my head, then it is too big and unattractive. The general consensus among various guys on campus seems to be that a handful is enough.

What most men fail to realize is that huge breasts come with a price. For some women, huge breasts can cause severe back pains when they are just carrying too much weight. Dolly Parton, not only known for her music but also her chest size, has complained about her chest causing back pains.

We need to stop focusing on the unrealistic standards, and notice the natural beauty of an individual. Sophomore nursing major Katie Haakenson agreed.

"I used to be really self conscious about (my breasts), but then my boyfriend made me realize how hot I was," she said. "When a girl is hot, then her breasts will be hot too."

Mikhail Chernyavsky can be reached at features@statehornet.com.

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