Issue date: 4/11/07 Section: Sexcapades

Casey Farrell [Click to enlarge]

It's an age-old question that sent Harry and Sally into a tailspin: Can males and females be just friends?

Can men and women be good friends without it turning into sex or some kind of love affair?

Senior public relations major Trevor Hammond said that his best friend of eight years is a girl, and they've never had problems with boundaries. This sounds like a rare occurrence, according to other students on campus.

"The bottom line is that one person will feel attracted to the other and the friendship will not work," international student Zara Sanchez said.

From the male-female friendships Sanchez has had, she said that it's always the same struggle when trying to keep the relationship strictly platonic.

The No. 1 complication for a platonic relationship is attraction. Once somebody is attracted to the other person, all bets are off. The relationship has forever changed, and whether it's unrequited love or you end up falling in love with each other, it's not just a friendship anymore.

"If you can have sex with your friends, I guess you can be friends," graduate student Niccole Scrogins said. "Sex is bound to get in the way."

Although a lot of people believe that platonic male-female friendships are difficult to maintain, there are always exceptions.

For women, there are a few male candidates who may work out well in the "just friends" category. You can usually have casual friendships with your girl friends' boyfriends that remain platonic. They are the easy guy friends to have. You never feel threatened or pressured, and you usually love them because they are good to your friend. It is very rare to cross the line into something other than friendship with your best friend's boyfriend because you're usually not super close with him.

Then there can be friendships with dorky, insecure guys at school who you aren't attracted to. He's nice, usually has problems getting girls, always understands the homework assignment and you think of him as a little brother.

Finally, the best guy friend a girl can ever have is the gay guy. They are the best! They are usually the first person you'd get together with on a Saturday night to go dancing and you never have to second-guess his motives. This is truly the type of guy friend that will stay only a friend.

"With guys, it's easier for them to put a girl in the 'just friends' category when they're not physically attracted to her than it is for girls," communication studies junior Kristi Clarke said. "They depend more on physical attraction than girls do."

Since women tend to have a difficult time maintaining platonic relationships, it's hard to know what guys to steer away from when looking for a dependable "guy friend" who will stay simply a friend.

"It always gets complicated. One of you, at some point, will be attracted to the other person," communication studies junior Erin Cook said.

It's apparent that many people do not believe a platonic friendship between people of the opposite sex can work, and people, "friends with benefits" is not platonic.

When considering an innocent friendship with a member of the opposite sex, remember, attraction kills.

Casey Farrell can be reached at features@statehornet.com.

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