Issue date: 11/29/07 Section: Opinion

In the past 100 years, women have gained an unprecedented amount of equality. Women now have the right to vote, and in the workplace, women continue to make advances toward equality. But I can't help but notice that women have left out some key responsibilities in the quest for equality, mostly in the area of relationships.

It might just be me, but I don't see women fighting aggressively for the right to ask a man out as much as they are fighting for an equal paycheck. Lots of women out there think there's nothing wrong with asking a guy out. Be honest, how many of you women have actually asked a guy out? Women love shows that celebrate their sexual independence. Shows like "Desperate Housewives" and "Sex and the City" portray women with sexual freedom. So why don't you ladies follow their lead?

"It's tradition. That's the double-standard. Women act liberal and conservative at the same time," said Paul Contreras, senior criminal justice major.

There's nothing wrong with asking a guy out. For the ladies out there, you don't need to worry about guys thinking you're easy and that you only want sex. Sex is what a guy wants anyway. It doesn't matter if the guy asks or if the girl asks. Guys will always want sex. That's what we do. Any man who tells you otherwise is either gay, lying or is currently trying to get into your pants.

This is just one issue in the double-standard of dating. Why aren't women fighting to change the rules when it comes to dating? Who should be paying for dates? Who should be chivalrous to whom? Who should lead and who should escalate the relationship?

These questions need to be asked because women need to accept the entirety of equality and not just the good parts. How can women expect traditional dating standards in an equal world? That contradicts everything equality in a relationship should be because women still expect men to do everything.

The problem with women gaining more equality is it contradicts the traditional ways men are supposed to court a woman. Women always say they want a man who is confident and knows what he wants. But how do you expect a man to be confident when society tells men that women today are strong, independent and equal? That's why men are afraid of approaching women. It's because of the mixed signals women send. On one hand, women want men to believe they're strong and independent. Yet women never make a move in initiating a relationship.

"It contradicts when women say we should be equal and still expect guys to take the lead," said Justin Harrison, freshman business major.

If women truly want equality, then they should be prepared to accept more relationship responsibilities.

The other double standard women should be working to abolish is the stigmatization of women who live a promiscuous lifestyle. Why is it that a man who has sex with multiple partners is considered a god, while a woman who does the same is considered a slut or a whore? If women truly want equality, then shouldn't they fight societal and religious oppression of their wants and desires? Shouldn't women be as sexually free as men without having to worry about their friends and family thinking they're a whore?

This is a fight women have to wage with other women. It's not the men who are oppressing women; it's women oppressing other women. Think about it, if men want women to be more promiscuous, would they start calling women sluts and whores to make them feel bad for sleeping around?

This is what I notice as a man in an ever-growing "equal" world. Women should fight for complete equality without turning a blind eye to the inequality and double-standards they set regarding relationships. It's one or the other ladies; you can't have the best of both worlds.

Charles Weinstein can be reached at opinion@statehornet.com

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