Issue date: 11/12/08 Section: Sexcapades

Media Credit: Mikhail Chernyavsky [Click to enlarge]

Some may say I am picky, some may say my standards are too high, and some just may say I'm a jerk; but I will never, ever, date someone who loves country music.

It is one of my deal-breakers, or qualifications I feel I must insist on in my search for a significant other. If someone can feel passionately about such an awful genre of music, there is something fundamentally wrong with that person. I hold absolutely no hope that we could ever have a lasting or meaningful relationship.

It is true that we all have certain things we look for in a partner; whether it's something as silly as a certain eye color, or something as deadly serious as taste in music. Sometimes what you like is more important than what you're like.

Everyone has these deal-breakers. They are in the front of our minds to help us weed through the masses of eligible people out there. We use these as qualifiers to either consider someone worth the time to get to know, or to avoid as much as possible. Communication studies major Allison Moser names a few of her own deal-breakers, the most important one being a man who is shorter that her.

"Bad hygiene too," Moser said. "And someone who is too serious, who can't take a joke."

These red flags exist to save us from hours of awkward and uncomfortable conversations, in which we come to find out how unbearably un-cool these people really are. They also help to eliminate the time wasted in trying to lose them. These standards we live by may be construed as being picky, but I ultimately see it as not settling for someone or getting out before it's too late. According to AskMen.com there are several things to look out for in the treacherous world of dating. Their top-10 list includes flirting with other guys, which can be unnerving and annoying. Lying, even if it's about small things, can spell disaster for the long run. Some higher up the list were physical and mental abuse which is never good in any kind of relationship and the biggest deal-breaker of them all, cheating. If your significant other cheats on you, don't look back, don't give them a second chance and get the hell out of there.

Sure some of this may seem a little harsh, but deep down inside you all know it to be true. There is a little voice inside your head that screams at you to run away whenever that too-tall girl, or that emo-hair-over-one-eye-skinnier-than-you guy walks up.

I admit it, some of my own qualifications in the opposite sex may seem a bit petty, but in the long run, common interests in a relationship are vitally important to the health and sustainability of that relationship.

Let's take my earlier example of country music for one. If I were to date a girl who loves country music, it would be apparent that at some point while we were together country music would be played. I loathe this particular genre of music and my feeling toward it would eventually seep into my feelings for the girl. So even if that girl has some redeeming qualities, her love of this music that I hate would most likely outshine them.

In music, there is a lifestyle associated with particular genres, and the country music lifestyle is one that holds no appeal to me. It is just too different for me to appreciate, much less tolerate. I do not own a truck. I do not live on a farm. And I hate NASCAR.

These qualifications do not end with music. Here's another scenario: You take someone out on a first date, let them choose the movie and she ends up picking something like, oh, I don't know, "Beverly Hills Chihuahua."

You sit through the next hour and a half of your life wondering how many IQ points you're losing and quickly realize that someone who would actually pay money to see this kind of garbage is incredibly not worth your time. That is, of course, if you have any taste in movies. And if you don't, well, then maybe you found your soul mate, and let both of you further encourage the dumbing down of American cinema.

For some people, things like taste in music and movies don't matter as much as personality or even looks, but for others, those qualities are just as important. Someone may not have supermodel appeal, but if she's actually a cool person, her external beauty becomes less relevant and you can begin to see her for the person she truly is.

Unless, of course, that creeps you out too. Just like it does for philosophy major Joan Gachuhi.

"I can't stand people who chew with their mouth open. That is a big turnoff for me," Gachuhi said.

These standards we live by may be construed as being picky, but I ultimately see it as not settling for someone. If I were to lessen the amount of things I look for in someone, I would be doing myself a disservice by not trying as hard as I can to find someone I can give my whole self to. I'd be wasting the other person's time as well, because even if she liked me, I wouldn't like her as much. We're all searching for the right person, and if we don't have these guides to help us along the way, that special someone may be even harder to uncover.

Maybe I'm asking too much though. Maybe one day it will dawn on me that I shouldn't judge a potential date based on her love of a genre of music, or how tall she is, but who she is on the inside. The only problem is: How can I hear what she's really saying if Keith Urban is blasting in the background?

Matt Rascher can be reached at mrascher@statehornet.com

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