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Students come together to offer grief consolation

"I lost my mom when I was young, and I wish I had a support group that would have helped me."

Vanessa Johnson

Issue date: 4/8/09 Section: Features
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Death can happen suddenly, and is sometimes unexplainable. Those who are at a vulnerable age when someone close passes away may find it hard to deal with the situation.

For Monica Barba, junior sociology major, the scenario was no different when her mother passed away. Barba was only 18, and a freshman in college.

"I lost my mom when I was young, and I wish I had a support group that would have helped me," she said.

Although Barba said her family was there for her during her time of mourning, she thought talking to someone who experienced the same situation would have helped her understand what she was going through.

At 18, Barba was at the point in her life where she wanted to go away to college and break away from the high school scene; said she was torn. Her mom was suffering from the chemo treatments and it was too soon to leave her.

"For me, my mom was sick in 2002, and it continued all the way to my first year in college. I was 18 and ready to do my own thing, but my mom wanted me to be close so I decided to go to a community college," Barba said.

She began to think that she was the only one who was going through the pain of slowly losing a loved one.

"I was super depressed...I completely secluded myself and didn't get involved," Barba said.

Barba decided to pioneer something that she thought would be beneficial to anyone who had ever lost someone and was in need of extra support. She organized the National Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers club, and became the president of the club here at Sacramento State.

Barba was looking through a psychology magazine and saw a story about the AMF and felt that she, along with many other students, could relate to the organizaton. It was then that she decided that Sac State needed an AMF.

The AMF was first established on the east coast at Georgetown University. California currently has two chapters, one at the University of California Berkeley, and the other at Sac State.

AMF helps students cope with the death of a loved one in whatever way possible and gives them somebody to both relate and talk to.

"We would hope that there (are) a lot more people out there who would like to have a support team," Barba said.

So far, there are only four members, Barba said, but the club would love to expand.

"There are a lot of people out there who may have gone through losing someone and when I would talk about it in classes, it was received really positively," Barba said.

Elise Fider wants people to know that anybody can help those who are willing to get help. She is the vice president of the club and a sophomore communitcation studies major.

"A lot of times, people would walk away or get turned off because I hadn't lost a loved one (mother or father), but we are a support team," Fider said.

Fider lost her grandfather in late January.

Both Fider and Barba are trying to reach out to students through an event called Boot Camp for Cancer Awareness. The event is scheduled for May.

The Boot Camp for Cancer Awareness will consist of exercising to promote a sense of a healthy lifestyle.

Giselle Enciso, freshman biological sciences major, opted to not only join the club but also become the secretary.

Enciso feels as though she is adept in comforting others in need. She feels that since the AMF has been established, she will be able to use her caring personality to help those who are suffering.

"I thought it would be something that I (could) do to help give moral support to those who feel lost. You are not alone," Enciso said.

Vanessa Johnson can be reached at vjohnson@statehornet.com
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