Issue date: 4/15/09 Section: Sexcapades

Media Credit: Martin Wood [Click to enlarge]

They say two heads are better than one. However, if that second head is your libido then you might be getting into some trouble when you're in a relationship.

In 2007 the "MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty" survey reported that nearly half of the 70,000 participants admitted to cheating on a significant other at one point in their lives.

So whose fault is it, the innocent party, or the cheater?

Laura Schlessinger, an author and radio host with a doctorate in physiology, said on the TODAY show in March 2008 that if a man cheats, the woman is partly to blame.

Well that is a relief, fellas. Finally, we can escape some of the blame. Now if only there was a way we could avoid it entirely.

Then, in September, scientists discovered a gene variant in some men. Those who carried the gene are more susceptible to cheating.

So now, cheating men have two excuses. You can blame it on your significant other, or just say, "It's not my fault that I was born this way." At least the second excuse doesn't hurt your partner as much, right?

Melanie Dickerson, senior pre-nursing major, asks, "What evolutionary purpose would (the gene) have?"

It seems that our society is always looking for ways to help us keep our consciences clean by finding scapegoats.

Mary Davis, freshman communications major, believes that this "cheating gene" is bogus and it all has to do with the person's personality. A loyal person won't cheat and, until you find the right person, then you won't know what that loyalty is like, she said.

Davis is absolutely correct. In a study published in "Evolution and Human Behavior," a scientific journal of human behavior and evolution society, researchers found that committed men are more likely to stay committed and lose their wandering eye.

Nathaniel Steen, a second-bachelor civil engineer major, believes that cheating is cheating.

"You obviously don't love them (if you cheat)," he said.

So, there is no justification for cheating. However, what if you slip on some beer goggles and cloud your judgment with alcohol? Add the right amount of flirting from an attractive young person, and the next thing you know, you have just physically cheated on your partner by waking up handcuffed next to something you thought was human.

Is there a difference between physical and emotional cheating?

If we continue to play off biology, then it is agreed that men are built to spread their seed - this is where the cheating gene comes into evolution's purpose.

Men have the uncanny ability to distinguish screwing from making love. One takes a bone, while the other takes a heart.

Physical cheating tends to be momentary, while emotional is more of a continuous effort. It is always easier to change someone's mind than someone's heart.

Davis disagrees and finds that physical cheating is worse. We now live in a world of permanent sexually transmitted diseases where a cheating heart is something that no longer lingers in the back of your heads .

Regardless of the form, physical or emotional, there is no excuse for cheating. However, if a man physically cheats on you then it is not your fault. His infidelity is his problem that he must face because of his immaturity and lack of commitment. With emotional cheating, both parties are at fault.

It is obvious that relationships are hard work. Like any good working environment, good communication is key.

It is also important to remember that most of us are in college for the first time. So a good majority of people may not be looking for that long-term commitment.

Remember, men are dogs. We can be very loyal and loving. And like those dogs, some will hump any leg or bitch that comes their way.



Mikhail Chernyavsky can be reached at mchernyavsky@statehornet.com

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