Spring Break
There's more than one way to love
Nelly Hayatghaib
Issue date: 10/21/09 Section: Opinion
We are a generation of codependents.
Too much love, not enough love, who knows why. But we do know that nobody likes to sleep alone
We are in college, a time of education and indulgence. Dating is a social norm, and here, we're supposed to experience everything.
So why do we have to only be with one person? What makes a monogamous commitment more valid or worthy than other relationships?
Senior English major, Keyko Torres has been with her boyfriend for two years.
In January, they decided to have an open-relationship.
"There is enough trust and communication in our relationship where we're not afraid to be honest with each other about other people," she said. "We just trust each other enough that it just doesn't pose itself as a significant problem."
Torres has genuinely tried to make monogamy work, but just doesn't think she's wired for it.
She believes in commitment just as much as anyone only seeing one person, though.
There is an immeasurable difference between polyamory and infidelity.
Essentially, polyamory is an open relationship between consenting adults. It involves honesty, love and trust, just like monogamy.
Infidelity is cheap, dishonest and passe.
The two are not interchangeable, nor should they be confused.
If we were to be honest with ourselves and to our nature, polyamory would be a lot less controversial. We're not designed to be with one person.
Instead, we stay in unsatisfying relationships, out of fear or comfort, and cheat instead of breaking up.
This is counter-intuitive. We should be encouraged to be honest, open and safe in our relationships.
We have been conditioned to believe that monogamy is the ideal we should strive for.
Since childhood, we've been promised that we each have a soul mate somewhere, waiting for us. Once we meet, we will be emotionally fulfilled and completely satisfied.
This is a lie.
By nature, we are not monogamous beings.
Too much love, not enough love, who knows why. But we do know that nobody likes to sleep alone
We are in college, a time of education and indulgence. Dating is a social norm, and here, we're supposed to experience everything.
So why do we have to only be with one person? What makes a monogamous commitment more valid or worthy than other relationships?
Senior English major, Keyko Torres has been with her boyfriend for two years.
In January, they decided to have an open-relationship.
"There is enough trust and communication in our relationship where we're not afraid to be honest with each other about other people," she said. "We just trust each other enough that it just doesn't pose itself as a significant problem."
Torres has genuinely tried to make monogamy work, but just doesn't think she's wired for it.
She believes in commitment just as much as anyone only seeing one person, though.
There is an immeasurable difference between polyamory and infidelity.
Essentially, polyamory is an open relationship between consenting adults. It involves honesty, love and trust, just like monogamy.
Infidelity is cheap, dishonest and passe.
The two are not interchangeable, nor should they be confused.
If we were to be honest with ourselves and to our nature, polyamory would be a lot less controversial. We're not designed to be with one person.
Instead, we stay in unsatisfying relationships, out of fear or comfort, and cheat instead of breaking up.
This is counter-intuitive. We should be encouraged to be honest, open and safe in our relationships.
We have been conditioned to believe that monogamy is the ideal we should strive for.
Since childhood, we've been promised that we each have a soul mate somewhere, waiting for us. Once we meet, we will be emotionally fulfilled and completely satisfied.
This is a lie.
By nature, we are not monogamous beings.
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