Spring Break
Adults talk about growing up with homosexual parents
Jennifer Siopongco
Issue date: 10/29/09 Section: Features
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Nicole Scanlan, PRIDE Center co-coordinator, and Alysson Satterlund, director of student activities both wanted people to see that growing up with parents from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community is as normal as growing up with heterosexual parents.
"I feel like a lot of people have questions about it and this event is relatable to people who are in the same situations, like the audience member who had two gay uncles," Satterlund said.
Scanlan said a lot of the questions about having same-sex parents has to do with the perception that something different or terrible happens to a child when they grow up in LGBT households.
"There might be some differences in the households, but they all can't be because they're LGBT," Scanlan said.
Scanlan's stepdaughter, Tina Dowdy, was one of the speakers for the panel, and actually had two heterosexual parents throughout her teen years. Today, Dowdy's mother is openly gay with her partner. Her father is also in a same-sex relationship, but Dowdy is proud of her parents and each parent's individual happiness.
"We can dissect it (homosexual parenting) and argue about this being right and this being wrong, but the bottom line is this is what it is and they're going to be who they're going to be," Dowdy said.
Dowdy has a daughter of her own and said it is fun to watch her daughter ask questions about her grandparents' relationships.
"I don't want her to be ashamed," Dowdy said. "I watched my cousins grow up not knowing my aunt was a lesbian and was dumbfounded when they found out. I don't want that for my daughter."
Clint Swift, panel speaker, also has a mother who is lesbian. In total Swift has three mothers, his biological mom, his mom's partner, and his father's wife.
Before Swift was born, his mother dated her USC professor, and had him a year later. Swift claims his parents were never truly in love, and has grown up with a lesbian mother ever since.
"I didn't realize I had a different parental structure until the teasing began when I was around 13-years-old," Swift said.
Swift said he vividly remembered coming home from a ski trip on a school bus, and telling his friends he was coming home to two mothers. He said from that moment on, his large friend base started to dwindle.
"I was immediately ostracized, but on the flip side I was grateful to be able to easily find out what kind of friends I wanted," Swift said. "I also appreciated the really great experiences I've had, like walking in the L.A. Pride Parade when I was only 5-years-old because my mother was an activist."
Swift said that when you're pushed into a situation in life, you quickly understand different perspectives and you learn how to tolerate them.
Swift's girlfriend, Genevieve Roman, a fellow panel speaker, was also immersed into being a daughter of someone who is also part of the LGBT community. Roman's known her father was gay since she was 6-years-old and never had a personal problem with it.
Roman's father and his partner have been together for 19 years and Roman moved in with them when she was 15-years-old.
"With the Prop. 8 debate, people's big problem with it is the child bearing issue," Roman said. "When I found out as a kid about my father, I was proud of it and thought it was cool."
Roman said she bragged about her father being gay when she was younger. The idea that being a part of the LGBT community is bad has always been a foreign idea to her.
"As a kid, I was so proud of my father, I would always say I love gay people," Roman said.
Swift and Roman said they have met so many people with gay parents during their undergraduate education, and that those people are just like everybody else, too.
"When you're 10-years-old and you're growing up in a family, that's family to you," Swift said. "That's what's normal."
People often worry about children growing up differently or being treated differently from having same-sex parents, but all three panel speakers say they feel normal and are happy to share their stories.
"Kids will get teased regardless," Roman said. "It doesn't mean you shouldn't adopt or have kids just because they're going to be teased."
Jennifer Siopongco can be reached at jsiopongco@statehornet.com
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